Looking for love after a divorce can be daunting. The prospect of starting all over may seem unnerving, but at some point, you may wonder if you’re ready. The internet is full of advice on dating after divorce, but the reality is that there are no rules. It will be different for every person.

Here are some of the stories, the good, the bad and the ugly.

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9 Comments

  1. First to admit, I’ve been out of the scene for a looonnnggg time. Working through our separation and almost to divorce now, after over 20 years of marriage. It was over for awhile, just neither one of us wanted to admit it. Plus the kids were almost off to college.

    Here’s the thing: I’d like to start dating. I feel like I’ve missed years of opportunity to meet someone that really clicks. And, to be frank, I want a little fun. I was a monk for those last few years, and many of the ones before that weren’t memorable, particularly in the sheets.

    But I’m scared to death about diseases. Is everyone else? So I’m curious, how do you bring that up when dating today? I can’t imagine just saying “So, are you clean?”

    Reply
    • Bill: Ok, you hit the jackpot here. First and foremost, get yourself tested and get your personal clean bill of health. Second, if you’re getting to that stage with a new found love interest, there’s no harm or foul in asking if she’s been tested and gotten her clean bill of health as well. Otherwise, PROTECTION is the order of the day and will or should remain the one true constant in your relationship until the clean bills of health are presented. Interestingly enough, the incidence of STD transmission is high in older adults because they don’t use protection (women are generally beyond the child bearing years and likely don’t believe there’s any chance of becoming pregnant so they throw caution to the wind). So, when in doubt, wear your rain coat. Cheers

      Dennis and the
      Guyvorce Team

      Reply
      • You ain’t lying here! Be Warned and DON’T believe her! I got snipped while married, and a girl I was dating after divorce said she was clean. A few weeks later I was on fire anytime I pissed. That’s no fun! Protect yourself!

        Reply
  2. This might be a stupid question, but I am now separated from my wife after 22 years. Obviously, it’s been a long time since I was dating. My divorce will be final in a few weeks. The whole process has been expensive, paying for attorneys and a new place and everything else. So my question is, how do I know when to pay for a date and when the woman should pay? Believe it or not, I actually have been asked to go out by a lady at work, so I need to know what to do.

    Reply
  3. After my divorce, my wife’s sister reached out to tell me that she knew the split was my wife’s fault, that she had wrecked the relationship any time she’d been with a good man.

    Now my former sister in law is single and will be back in town soon. She wants us to go out. Is that messed up or what? I do like her but I know my side of the family would flip out if I started dating my ex wife’s sister.

    Reply
    • Jack:
      Hold on pilgrim. Your ex sister-in-law suggested her sister was lying and cheating on you during the divorce?
      And, now you’re suggesting a possible hook up with your ex sister-in-law?
      Like her no more. Your family would be right in thinking “WTF are you doing?” She likely is telling you these things to engage in a relationship, however meaningless and short lasting it’ll be.
      Trust me. Your ex-sister-in-law won’t be around long, by her doing or by yours, and you will be villainized and victimized forever by your Ex and by your family. Who needs that shit? Not me.

      Dennis and the
      Guyvorce team

      Reply
  4. I’ve been divorced for 2 years now, and “dating” only for the past 6 months. I just wasn’t ready. My beef is the dating sites. I’ve talked to several women and felt like connections were there, conversations, laughs, etc. but it seems none of them actually ever want to “meet”. They make excuses, bail last minute, whatever. WTF!!! How do you find/get the ones who actually want to meet and give it a chance? I’m not interested in “chatting” for the rest of my life.

    Reply
  5. Divorced four years. Decided to try the online dating sites. What a waste of time. After joining four dating sites (Match, Plenty of Fish (POF), Tinder and Zoosk) let me tell you, I’ve never been more ignored in all my life. I’ve been on these sites four+ months now, written likely 100 emails of intro to various ladies trying to spark conversation and a connection. Mind you, I’m being respectful, humorous, witty, and engaging. I’ve not sent any Dick Pics or anything vulgar of any kind. Now, I don’t think I’m a bad looking guy, but you might think I was Jack the Ripper. Response from the ladies has been nearly non-existent. It’s frustrating. They all say they’re easy going and want to find their ‘last love’, want to have their ‘last first kiss.’ What crap is this if they never answer an email of introduction? How can they possibly find their forever love if they are disconnected, disengaged or disinterested. I have no idea how to get a connection. If anyone has any ideas or success stories to share it might prove helpful.

    Reply
    • Dude, I had the same thing for 6 months after I tried using those stupid sites. I was cracking off about it to my sister about how women say one thing and act another, and she talked me into letting her fix my dating profile.

      What she put in there wasn’t so much different from what I had, but it worked. Like chicks have a freakin secret code or something. Try getting a woman to fix your dating site stuff. It worked for me.

      Reply

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